Author: welcomedmachine

Watch This College Student Get Pwned By His Two-Year-Old Son

magic-and-moonlit-wings:

thenightling:

the-macra:

– Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

What makes this funny is that in the actual novel once the creature learned how to speak he was actually very articulate and could indeed talk circles around Victor.ย  He wasnโ€™t just physically stronger, he was smarter.

Could This Two-Year-Old Be Smarter Than A College Dropout?

50 States of McMansion โ„Œ๐”ข๐”ฉ๐”ฉ: King County, Washington

mcmansionhell:

Happy Halloween, folks! Today, as a special treat, I will be giving you something EXTRA SCARY: 10 (ten)ย ๐–Š๐–๐–™๐–—๐–Š๐–’๐–Š๐–‘๐–ž ๐–ˆ๐–š๐–—๐–˜๐–Š๐–‰ ๐–’๐–ˆ๐–’๐–†๐–“๐–˜๐–Ž๐–”๐–“๐–˜ from the breezy suburbs of Seattle.ย 

If you really want to be scared: all of these houses cost more than $1.5 million dollars despite looking like they were made with, like, thirty dollars. I guess the scariest thing of all for so many of us isย ๐–—๐–Ž๐–‰๐–Ž๐–ˆ๐–š๐–‘๐–”๐–š๐–˜๐–‘๐–ž ๐–๐–Ž๐–Œ๐– ๐–š๐–—๐–‡๐–†๐–“ ๐–๐–”๐–š๐–˜๐–Ž๐–“๐–Œ ๐–•๐–—๐–Ž๐–ˆ๐–Š๐–˜

Well, without further ado:

#10: Asphalt Purgatory

this house really drives home the banality of ugliness but it gets bonus points for the garage, which gives the great pyramid of Giza a run for its money. 9

#9: Vile โ€œVillaโ€

If you really think about it, so many horror stories come true every day if youโ€™re a tree. you know, like helplessly watching someone slaughter your neighbors and friends

#8: Casa del No

(computer voice):ย enhancing

this is just an abomination, completely eviscerating the millennia-long tradition of architectural detailing in the same way facebook has eviscerated the meaning of the wordย โ€œtruthโ€ for millions of old people addicted to insane right-wing conspiracy pages

#7: Thinly-Veiled Window Showroom

sometimes i wonder if people deliberately build these houses just to make me (personally) angry, and this is one of those times.ย 

#6: Stop Making Sense: The House

(shouting desperately as Iโ€™m getting dragged away by police) FERNGULLY WAS A DOCUMENTARY

#5: Duckface

did these people build a house just using random parts stolen from other construction sites or somethingย 

#4: Obligatory Faux Chateau

pin this to your halloween moodboard because this place is definitely cursed in every way imaginableย 

#3: Great โ€œwoof, thatโ€™s bad,โ€ Lodge

i would make a Twin Peaks joke but none of those gables quite matchย 

#2: (spooky voice) โ€œcode violationsโ€

this is like the luxury cabin in the woods version of groverhausย 

#1: Please, I beg you, No Mo PoMo

Where to even start with this house. First of all, it is trying to be like 30 different things at once: Italian Villa, French Eclectic, Tugboat, a thinly veiled metaphor for the perils of human indecision. What personally pushed me over the edge was this:

HOW (how??) does this happen? (Mulder writing in his log at the end of an episode of The X-files voice): Only in a world that has forsaken love and truth, in favor of fear and lies, do such abominations unfold.ย 

Happy Halloween, folks. Donโ€™t drink and drive. As for candy: the world is ending, eat trash twizzlers be free!!! See you soon with Vermont. Also, thereโ€™s a few bonus McMansions from this post viewable on Patreon for all subscription tiers!ย 

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!

There is a whole new slate of Patreon rewards, including Good House of the Week, Crowdcast streaming, and bonus essays!

Not into recurring donations or bonus content? Consider the tip jar! Or,Check out the McMansion Hell Store ! 100% of the proceeds from the McMansion Hell store go to charity!

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs are used in this post under fair use for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC ยง107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright ยฉ 2018 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

swagamemn0n:

no offense but i need everyone to stop saying that โ€œwe survivedโ€ bad presidents before. like, i get it, the countryย has weathered people like andrew jackson and ronald reagan and will probably weather trump. but when you sayย โ€œwe survivedโ€ andrew jackson? tell that to the 4000 (of 16000) cherokee who died on the trail of tears.ย โ€œwe survivedโ€ ronald reagan? tell that to the 650,000 americans who have died of aidsโ€“ a national health crisis which reagan refused to even recognize?ย 

you know whoย โ€œsurvivedโ€ presidents like trump? people who never had to be afraid of them in the first place.ย 

annabellioncourt:

jonathan-harker-1888:

Things you donยดt see in Dracula adaptations:

Van Helsing hating to kill female vampires because he doesnยดt want to hurt women.

Renfield dying when he tries to save Mina.

Van Helsing feeling deeply for Arthur despite not knowing him because heโ€™s the same age that his own son would have been if he lived

Van Helsing mentioning his mad wifeย 

Jack Seward treating his patients with individual care in his private asylum, not the Bedlam monstrosities you usually see in movies

Arthur lost his father and Lucy in the same weeks, Lucyโ€™s mother also passed away, as did Mina and Lucyโ€™s friend, M. Swales.

Mr. Swales existence in general, the sarcastic old sea captain needs to be on screen.

John Harker being a lovesick sweetheart

Lucy was not only sentimental but extremely emotionally sensitive, to the point where she nearly froze in anguish at seeing a man beat his dog.

Lucy being a young and innocent

Lucy realizing what she was becoming and thanking Van Helsing when he pulled Arthur away from her after she attempted to attack him.